Urban Arson

I got a new job doing freelance visual effects for a post production company and it’s taking up a large portion of my time. The gig lasts until March 13th at which time I’ll resume my regular posting schedule.

According to my logs quite a few of you have been checking in frequently for updates. Sorry to disappoint. I’ve got some good articles in my head pertaining to the current economic climate and reviews of some great books, movies and music that have inspired me in the last few weeks.

I’ll be back in action soon enough. Worry not.

Aaron

I’m not usually an F1 fan but they just added a freakin’ turbo button, like in a video game. I’m totally in, when does this season start!

Hugo Chavez looks for a clue.

Hugo Chavez won a referendum last night which allows him unlimited term limits as “President” of Venezuela. Why a non-dictator would feel the need to extend his term indefinitely is beyond me. Well it isn’t beyond me so much as I understand it completely and I’m making a loosely veiled attempt at sarcasm. That is to say I whole heartedly believe Hugo Chavez, “President” of Venezuela, to be the tyrannical dictator of a country which is badly in need of a Revolution.

My mother is from Venezuela and immigrated to the United States with her family when she was 13. She graduated high school at 16 and went to Rice University where she met and married my father. My mother and I have been to Venezuela several times together and while she continues to return every few months or so, I haven’t been in years. I’m afraid that I will never again see the cool blue waters which wave in and out of its shores. By the time they realize their mistakes that cool blue will be a murky oily brown with beaches too polluted to sustain life.

I refuse to return to Venezuela until this man is out of power. I cannot in good conscience return to a country full of people who in the face of such tyranny, continue to party and carry on like nothing is happening to their beautiful homeland. Their rights slowly diminishing, Chavez continues to make small yet meticulous strides, every day removing liberties and striking more freedoms from their Constitution. 

Venezuela is going bankrupt and will soon be in the socialist/communist toilet of its cousins, USSR, China and Cuba with bread (arepa) lines forming at the crack of dawn and extending until all the bread i sold 20 minutes after going on sale. A population of 25 million, (75% of which live in shacks as big as a bathroom made from scrap metal, particle board, and cardboard) will drop to 15 million, the entire population living in said shacks.

The country was very poor when I used to visit and it’s worse now. Chavez is mishandling their economy and making enemies, not friends with the world. Venezuela will continue to go down the tubes until some brave souls rise up to fight their oppressors. Please remove the chains of bondage which this man has cast upon you over these 10 years and return your country to its proper owners; a united Venezuela for and by its people.

After the power outage in Silverlake last night, I discovered how ill prepared I was for such occurrences. It was about midnight, and I was watching Episode 13 Season 2 of 24. Jack Bauer was about to go break some terrorist’s face and boom the power went out, the fans on my many computers whirled to a stop. The room’s only illumination was the light of my laptop.

I just sat there in silence, patiently knowing that it would soon come back on and everything would be right in the world. After 5 minutes of fiddling with my iPhone and watching the battery meter on my laptop fall from 99% to 93% I started to get worried. Was this city wide? What do I do next? Are zombies involved? What do I do if they are? I think, machetes are better than handguns because, “you ain’t gotta reload a machete.”

Bam, just like that, the power came back on, my computers and TV roared to life, automatically restarting themselves; I would be back to watching Bauer torture evil doers with a butter knife to the knee cap before — and there goes the power again. What the hell? Who’s teasing me?

My laptop had charged back up to 95% but quickly resumed its downward spiral to drainsville. My iPhone was at 20%, and I started to panic. I looked out the window and saw that the rest of LA was shining brilliantly, so obviously this was a localized problem. The neighbors’ houses were as dark as mine and in my head I shook a fist at Silverlake; it’s easy going bohemian lifestyle perfectly “Austinesque” for an easy transition, were undoubtably the exact social climate needed for zombies to spawn.

The zombies were coming for sure so I pulled out a charge cord and plugged my iPhone into my sole source of power, the laptop, then I quickly closed the laptop to conserve energy. 

Side note: If you have an Apple laptop (Macbook Pro or Macbook) you can use it to charge USB devices even when it’s in sleep mode. Just plug it in before you close the computer.

Unless the outbreak happened next door I would have a few hours before it became wide spread, so I decided to go to sleep because I would need my strength. I woke up at 7am and everything was right as rain. My laptop and iPhone were fully charged, and my computers were up and running, doing their daily tasks. Zombie holocaust averted, I went for a run; during which I came to some conclusions.

1. I have no flashlights or portable power sources.
2. I have 1 pocket knife and other than my bags of Minneola Tangelos and Clementine Mandarins (the world’s perfect fruits), no portable food.
3. When I’m presented with a simple problem like lack of power, my mind immediately points to zombie attack as the only explanation.
4. My dependence on the power grid is so entwined with my personal happiness that I’d kiss it if I didn’t think it would kill me.

I need modern convenience, it has made me who I am. So I’d like to thank Nikola Tesla for his limitless strokes of genius in the field of energy and George Westinghouse whose tireless pocketbook aided Tesla in creating such wonderful things.

And a big screw you to Thomas Edison for his rise to the top on the backs of so many great minds, without due compensation and his attempts to discredit AC power in favor of DC. You bastard.

This is easily one of the most chilling photos I’ve ever seen. Forgotten memories from the near future. I couldn’t find out who made it or any information about it’s origin so I decided to make up a story about its future.

Two little boys take a photo with their robot friend, T-100. One day they’ll grow up and forget about him just like that dog your parents got you when you were 8. They’ll leave him behind and his emotion circuits will be crushed. 20 years later he’ll go out on an adventure with other household appliances to find his former masters. After searching high and low, in rain, sleet, and snow, a rust covered hand will open the window shutter of a suburban home and see that his master has forgotten him; moving on to bigger and better modern robot models. The young robot and other appliances take up shelter in a nearby forest, and meet other misfit robots who are formulating a plot to “kill all humans.”

The robot wakes to a fully charged battery, his solar cells having collected a days worth of energy in the “Judgement Day” sun. T-100 rises to his feet and admires his new hands installed by a repair bot. First they turn into human hands, then spiked hammers, and finally smooth chrome ice picks. He transforms them into rusted robot hands to match his corroded body, walks over to the home of his master and rings the doorbell. Behind his back his hands become ice picks. The door opens and a 20 something Jimmy jumps out to hug the downtrodden T-100. “T, I haven’t seen you in years. I missed you so much!” cries Jimmy. T-100’s hands go back to normal and he completes the hug. Then there’s a crack, and thousands of robots come running out of the woods impaling every human in sight. 

This is a future reality. According to every movie about the future I’ve ever scene, robots will eventually enslave us all…

For the first time in my life I missed an NFL season. I’m not talking about a couple of Dallas away games, I mean the entire season. Sure I knew enough about what was going on to BS about it with other “guys”; the Titan’s winning streak, Kurt Warner’s tremendous season, and Dallas’ monumental implosion thanks to Tony Romosexual. But I never actually saw an entire game… It was the first time this had ever happened. So with my Norwegian cousin Hans in town I decided to sit down and watch my first game of the 2008-2009 season, Super Bowl XLIII, one of the best in recent memory (I’ve seen every one since my birth). Yes, it beat last year’s (100-yard, interception touchdown by a linebacker?!?).

The only real problem I had with the game was the last “play”. With the ball just passed mid-field and time running thin, the Cardinals were down by 4. Kurt Warner was desperately looking for an open man. He scrambled to his left and right trying to get the best look at one of his three incredible 3000+ yard receivers. He got in trouble and was tackled as he threw the ball. It was ruled a fumble and Super Bowl XVIII ended on the lamest note in recorded history. 

Here’s a clip:

Now the referees some how ruled this a fumble. There was no lengthy booth review, like they would use in a situation to say, oh I don’t know, decide whether or not the SUPER BOWL was really over. They put exhaustive amounts of time into determining whether a players shoelace touched out of bounds, and they can’t just give a Super Bowl ending play a minute of their time? 

I’ve scoured the internet setting up my own repository of Super Bowl Zapruder footage. The best angle I can find of the play in question is this dark isometric angle from someone who shot their TV with a digital camera and uploaded it to Youtube.

Here it is:

According to the NFL rules book, a possession becomes a pass:

When a Team A player is holding the ball to pass it forward, any intentional movement forward of his HAND starts a forward pass. If a Team B player contacts the passer or the ball after forward movement begins, and the ball leaves the passers hand, a forward pass is ruled, regardless of where the ball strikes the ground or a player.

Now to me and according to the rules, that looks like a pass, an incomplete pass. His hand was going forward and the ball followed suit. If it was a fumble, it was the first spiraled fumble of all time. The game just ended, and everyone looked like they were hiding something. They just sped along like nothing happened. Football God John Madden looked pissed! I don’t know what happened and I’m not a conspiracy theorist, but something was rotten in Tampa…

Look, I know that even if they had ruled it an incomplete pass the next play would have been a Hail Mary at best, but with Warner’s arm, three of the leagues best receivers and Fitzgerald’s much touted jumping ability it would have been a nail biter.

This is a Super Bowl commercial for Hulu, a streaming video site which serves up heaping helpings of TV shows and movies. The commercial features Alec Baldwin doing what he does best, convincing you that you need something regardless of its detriment to your person.

I lost a friend today.

I don’t speak about the dead in hushed tones nor do I attribute unjustified characteristics to them due to their passing. So when I say that, his name was Paulo Emanuele and he was one of the coolest, nicest dudes I’ve ever met. You know that I’m not telling any tales. 

My friend Todd introduced me to him and Paulo gave me my first paying gig out here in LA. He was cool as ice and mellow to the core. He will be missed.

Paulo was the General Manager of www.airliners.net and one of the guys who sold off MySpace to Rupert Murdoch. 

(From airliners.net)

It is with the deepest sorrow that we let know Paulo Emanuele, General Manager of Airliners.net died this evening in a tragic plane crash. His plane took off out of Santa Monica Airport around 5:00 PM and lost power. Paulo attempted to return to the airport, but did not make it. Paulo loved Airliners and everything it stands for.

He will be remembered for his passion, his kindness, and his love for life.

Paulo was an amazing pilot, an amazing photographer, an amazing friend, and an amazing father. He will be deeply missed.

Thank you Paulo for the time we had with you…We know you will be smiling down on us.

One of the most surreal things is I’ve actually flown in (and flown for 15 seconds) N688C, the airplane which crashed. This was officially my worst birthday ever.

My heart goes out to his daughter and girlfriend, family and friends. Paulo Emanuele was a stand up guy. It was a pleasure to have known you sir.

Dr. Paul demolishes 4 Keysian economist morons on Morning Joe using nothing but logic and truth. Ambushed and surrounded on all sides, he still manages to make them look foolish. I know I’m posting a lot of Ron Paul today, but it’s my birthday and I’ll post Paul if I want to…

Dr. Ron Paul knows his stuff. Osama bin Laden’s main goal was the bankrupt the United States, and we’ve played directly into his hands. This Union is broke! The private sector is always going to spend money to make money thus stimulating the economy, capitalism created this country DON’T BE FOOLED. Conversely the federal government doesn’t know how to do anything but waste money on more social programs which create a populous of people dependent on said socialism. Why the hell should we trust them to do anything for us? Can you name one government program that has ever worked?

Here’s more information on Osama bin Laden’s goal.

Bin Laden: Goal is to bankrupt U.S.