Urban Arson

This is the best thing ever! Watch the whole video. You won’t be disappointed.

I didn’t know that people jump cut stuff like this back in the 70’s! When I was a kid my Dad bought collection of 20 VHS tapes featuring animal studies and documentaries. I must have watched each of them 10 times. They were all shot on 16 mm so watching this really took me back.

I’m not usually an F1 fan but they just added a freakin’ turbo button, like in a video game. I’m totally in, when does this season start!

After the power outage in Silverlake last night, I discovered how ill prepared I was for such occurrences. It was about midnight, and I was watching Episode 13 Season 2 of 24. Jack Bauer was about to go break some terrorist’s face and boom the power went out, the fans on my many computers whirled to a stop. The room’s only illumination was the light of my laptop.

I just sat there in silence, patiently knowing that it would soon come back on and everything would be right in the world. After 5 minutes of fiddling with my iPhone and watching the battery meter on my laptop fall from 99% to 93% I started to get worried. Was this city wide? What do I do next? Are zombies involved? What do I do if they are? I think, machetes are better than handguns because, “you ain’t gotta reload a machete.”

Bam, just like that, the power came back on, my computers and TV roared to life, automatically restarting themselves; I would be back to watching Bauer torture evil doers with a butter knife to the knee cap before — and there goes the power again. What the hell? Who’s teasing me?

My laptop had charged back up to 95% but quickly resumed its downward spiral to drainsville. My iPhone was at 20%, and I started to panic. I looked out the window and saw that the rest of LA was shining brilliantly, so obviously this was a localized problem. The neighbors’ houses were as dark as mine and in my head I shook a fist at Silverlake; it’s easy going bohemian lifestyle perfectly “Austinesque” for an easy transition, were undoubtably the exact social climate needed for zombies to spawn.

The zombies were coming for sure so I pulled out a charge cord and plugged my iPhone into my sole source of power, the laptop, then I quickly closed the laptop to conserve energy. 

Side note: If you have an Apple laptop (Macbook Pro or Macbook) you can use it to charge USB devices even when it’s in sleep mode. Just plug it in before you close the computer.

Unless the outbreak happened next door I would have a few hours before it became wide spread, so I decided to go to sleep because I would need my strength. I woke up at 7am and everything was right as rain. My laptop and iPhone were fully charged, and my computers were up and running, doing their daily tasks. Zombie holocaust averted, I went for a run; during which I came to some conclusions.

1. I have no flashlights or portable power sources.
2. I have 1 pocket knife and other than my bags of Minneola Tangelos and Clementine Mandarins (the world’s perfect fruits), no portable food.
3. When I’m presented with a simple problem like lack of power, my mind immediately points to zombie attack as the only explanation.
4. My dependence on the power grid is so entwined with my personal happiness that I’d kiss it if I didn’t think it would kill me.

I need modern convenience, it has made me who I am. So I’d like to thank Nikola Tesla for his limitless strokes of genius in the field of energy and George Westinghouse whose tireless pocketbook aided Tesla in creating such wonderful things.

And a big screw you to Thomas Edison for his rise to the top on the backs of so many great minds, without due compensation and his attempts to discredit AC power in favor of DC. You bastard.

This is easily one of the most chilling photos I’ve ever seen. Forgotten memories from the near future. I couldn’t find out who made it or any information about it’s origin so I decided to make up a story about its future.

Two little boys take a photo with their robot friend, T-100. One day they’ll grow up and forget about him just like that dog your parents got you when you were 8. They’ll leave him behind and his emotion circuits will be crushed. 20 years later he’ll go out on an adventure with other household appliances to find his former masters. After searching high and low, in rain, sleet, and snow, a rust covered hand will open the window shutter of a suburban home and see that his master has forgotten him; moving on to bigger and better modern robot models. The young robot and other appliances take up shelter in a nearby forest, and meet other misfit robots who are formulating a plot to “kill all humans.”

The robot wakes to a fully charged battery, his solar cells having collected a days worth of energy in the “Judgement Day” sun. T-100 rises to his feet and admires his new hands installed by a repair bot. First they turn into human hands, then spiked hammers, and finally smooth chrome ice picks. He transforms them into rusted robot hands to match his corroded body, walks over to the home of his master and rings the doorbell. Behind his back his hands become ice picks. The door opens and a 20 something Jimmy jumps out to hug the downtrodden T-100. “T, I haven’t seen you in years. I missed you so much!” cries Jimmy. T-100’s hands go back to normal and he completes the hug. Then there’s a crack, and thousands of robots come running out of the woods impaling every human in sight. 

This is a future reality. According to every movie about the future I’ve ever scene, robots will eventually enslave us all…

The horror genre has been circling the drain for years. The only reason any of its water remains in the film sink is the hair ball of teen culture which continually refreshed to stop up the pipe. Just knowing that M(usic)TV doesn’t show music videos anymore is all the explanation I need to understand why bad horror movies continue to get made and do well in the theater. 

In a world where putting your face in your palm is an every day occurrence I present, My Bloody Valentine 3D.

Over the last few years films shot using 3D camera systems have been gaining traction. Sadly many of them featured a gimmicky technology which utilized red-blue glasses (I’m looking at you Spy Kids…). 3D is the wave of the future and films like My Bloody Valentine 3D will aid in its mainstream acceptance, preparing the film viewing world for James Cameron’s 3D masterpiece, Avatar.

My Bloody Valentine 3D is a bad remake of a bad 1980’s slasher flick called My Bloody Valentine.  Now “bad” and slasher movie usually go hand in hand. If you walk into a movie like this expecting “The Shawshank Redemption” you’re a moron, if you walk in knowing that you’ll get a movie full of darkly lit sets and cliche deaths using an impractical weapon you can have a good experience. I enjoyed the movie enough to not to walk out and got some good ideas of how to make 3D work for non-gimmick movies. It made me laugh and jump at the proper times; I got to waste a couple of hours of my life and eat at Fuddrucker’s.

The story is awful, the plot is tired and its twist is only surpassed in stupidity by an M. Night Shyamalan film. For it’s technical importance and tongue in cheek horror presentation I give My Bloody Valentine 3D 2.5/5 Stars.

NASA’s Common Extensible Cryogenic Engine  or CECE for short, is powered by super cool liquid hydrogen and oxygen. When the mix hits the outer rim of the engine it immediately turns to ice and remains despite the engine burning at over 5000 degrees Fahrenheit.

The engine is unique for its ability to reduce thrust from 108% to 8% which will allow for gentle lunar landings.

Steve Jobs unveiled the Macintosh on January 24, 1984; 25 years ago today.

With it’s revolutionary Graphical User Interface, mouse, and compact size, it was the computer that changed the game forever. 

Ayn Rand’s magnum opus Atlas Shrugged is the greatest book I could ever hope to read. Published in 1957 Atlas Shrugged highlights the lives of several very successful men and women of industry who attempt to justify logical ideas to the illogical maniacs who have overrun the world. These maniacs are also in high positions of power and enforce socialist laws and regulations which allow mediocrity to hold sway and eventually lead to the destruction of Western Civilization. 

This book is over a thousand pages long with extremely small print. It’s pretty overwhelming when you start but after the first chapter you’ll get sucked in and the pages will quickly melt away until you meet the back cover longing for more. 

I could make the argument that this is the most important book ever written. It preaches the ideal of Objectivism an ideology whose simple creed states:

“I swear, by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine.”

This is the most beautiful ideal that a person could hope to hold. If you constantly strive to better your own life instead of waiting for a handout from others how can you be stopped? Ideals such as this are what push humanity forward, forcing exploration into uncharted areas of our universe, allowing for new discoveries which will make life better for mankind as a whole. The constant nagging restrictions which governments impose on the people who are under their control stagnate creativity. They have tied the hands of millions of dreamers whose hope was to push the human race forward faster than any man who had come before him. But instead they were exiled, jailed, and murdered for their ideas.

In whose hands would you entrust your life? Men such as Steve Wozniak and Steve Jobs whose minds have made them wealthy beyond their wildest dreams and advanced the world 1000 fold with the invention of the personal computer. Or a tenured college professor of Philosophy who preaches to his knowledge hungry students that there are no answers and that nothing matters because his evil, cannibalistic mind lacks the capacity to do anything but tear down all things good in the world. If his ability to find fault in everything and inability to provide an answer for anything is being taught to millions of college students a year; how much longer can we last?

Self-made men have built and shaped this world in their own image, competing with one another to be the wealthiest and most influential. Their “selfish” competition is a boon for humanity because of its tendency to create new technologies which make life better. Had I never read this book I would have never understood what made them tick, and now that I have I can never go back. I must strive to be one of them, giving my all and expecting it in return.

After reading this review, pick up the book and read a little every night, or better yet get the audiobook version (which is 60 hours long). Watching these honorable men struggle to break the evil chains of ignorance, mediocrity, and lethargy will enrage you to the point of change. You will want to be better for your own sake first and for the sake of advancement second.

READ THIS BOOK!

Who is John Galt?

5/5 Stars

Italian Police recently confiscated a gun disguised as a cellphone. Ok, so you’re a hardcore bad ass assassin, but too much of a wuss for a real weapon, so you get Zach Morris (from Saved by the Bell) to sell you his huge 1980’s monstrosity of a phone, beat him to death with it, then turn it into something with stealthy stopping power. Your target would have to either be blind or mentally handicapped but it you get 4 shots.

It holds 4 bullets and goes on sale at your local Chinese black market this fall.

The Boston Globe has an excellent photoblog called “The Big Picture” where they post high resolution photographs of news worthy events.

Today the International Space Station turns 10 years and with every passing day it brings us closer to understanding our origin and future. The best and the brightest minds on our planet have collaborated on this for the betterment of mankind. None of the terrestrial conflicts matter when you’re orbiting 190 miles (350 km) above the Earth. At this scale all we have is each other. Beautiful!

Read all about it