Urban Arson

No updates until 2009. I’ve got a bunch of stuff planned, along with a few exciting announcements. I know it sounds like forever but its only a week away. You’ll live.

Original Air Date: December 4th, 2008

After much coercion Jack Donaghey convinces Liz Lemon to go to her 20th High School Reunion. In a flashback Liz remembers High School as a time when everyone made fun of her for not being popular. Once they arrive Jack takes the name tag of a popular classmate and Liz decides to stand up to the jerks who bullied her. Everything goes horribly wrong, as Jack and Liz are forced to flee the reunion.

This episode was awesome. You get to see more “young Liz Lemon” which is always an awkward treat, and Jack finally gets the high school experience that long ago passed him by. The build up was nice and it climaxed and concluded in one swift blow. 

The 3rd season has been great thus far and this episode didn’t disappoint.

Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette

In order to understand why this album is so important to me you have to know a bit about my upbringing. I grew up in my father’s very strict Christian household and wasn’t allowed to listen to anything but Christian music. I had a little AM/FM radio and listened to the pop station (96.7 KHFI for all you Austin cats) in bed at night so I could appear to be in the “know” with my elementary school friends. It was ridiculous.

Its 1995 and I’m 10 years old. My maternal grandmother, is dying a slow death from cancer in her Houston apartment. I was her first grandchild, we shared the same birthday and thus had a special bond. She had family from all over the world there to see her through the final days. She lay jaundiced and thin on the living room couch as we sat around her trying to make her as comfortable as possible, the disease slowly taking her away from us, away from me.

So it was at this sad and somber time that my mother and I were in a Barnes and Noble browsing through the music section. Out of the blue I spotted it. Jagged Little Pill, an album that none of my friends or cousins had. Its maroons, indigos and turquoises stared back at me tauntingly. I had to have it. I begged my mom to get it, she complied and this became my first of many cassette tapes. She also got me a tape player and a 24 pack of batteries at Sam’s Club and I was in business, I was in love. She was my first real “crush”, Alanis. For a long time after this I would see her face everywhere and in every woman I met. I used to think she was what Eve must have looked like. Whatever, don’t laugh too hard I was 10. An interesting sidebar, I was pleasantly surprised to see her cast as God in Kevin Smith’s Dogma. If Eve was the made in God’s image then she might have looked like God from Dogma. Thus my 10 year old theory had a bit of confirmation from someone else I greatly admired.

This album showed me how to feel in bad situations; that it was ok to be angry and let it show. It gave words to the inexplicable pain that was coming from my first big loss. After a while I moved over to some of her more optimistic songs, I’d sit in my room for hours listening to Side B “Head Over Feet” over and over again. To this day this song is in my Top 10 list. I don’t know why, call me a hopeless romantic or a girl or gay but this song is incredible. From the first time I heard it, love was all I wanted in life, it still is. I want someone to feel about me as I do about them. Love is all you need to quote the prophet John Lennon.

Every song on this album is killer. They’re packed with angst and disappointment, contrasting loss with boundless happiness. I was talking with my friend about influential music and she said this was her first cassette too. I’ve met so many people who remember where and when they first got it. It’s just that striking.

30 Million copies worldwide and still counting. I know this was her third studio album but it was the first to be released internationally so it counts as an Incredible Debut.

I spared his life with the hope that he would do something with its remainder. After all, he had a family and this was my last job. What was a little water under the bridge for two family men? And then it hit me like a ton of bricks, I collapsed instantly and tried to sit up, my right love handle seared with pain. It burned like I’d been stabbed with a hot poker straight from the fire. But I instantly knew what had happened, that bastard shot me in the back at 20 paces. His tears hadn’t been tears at all but a discharge of a more scaly variety. Two minutes ago he was begging forgiveness for his transgressions and now this. I had made my first and only professional mistake on my last day. My last breath would pour out of me within the hour, the man I trained to replace me would avenge my death, killing this cock sucker in a damp, dingy alley much like this one and the cycle would repeat. Hopefully my replacement’s last day would be less eventful than my own. He’d get to go home, pack his things and move his family to a place outside of town, away from this violence, away from the feuding crime families and bootleggers, out of the bounds of the pimps and pushers, corrupt cops and backstabbing bastards who shoot you when you spare their lives. That is what today should have been for me but all I have now is an ever expanding pool of blood that feels colder to the touch every time I regain consciousness. It’ll all be over soon.

I wrote this after watching Lonely Hearts, an excellent film by my good friend Todd Robinson, the Writer/Director. I’ve always enjoyed Film Noir and this was my first attempt at writing something in that vein.

Tina Fey was the head writer at Saturday Night Live when she pitched an idea for a show that would become 30 Rock. It’s a comedy about the goings-on behind the scenes of a sketch comedy show. Tina Fey plays Liz Lemon, a late 30’s unmarried “den mother” to an almost slapstick cast of actors, writers, pages, and executives. She’s so great, I don’t know why she didn’t get into acting sooner. 

This show also made me fall in love with Alec Baldwin all over again. He plays Jack Donaghy, Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming at GE. He’s a suave and debonair man who’s self esteem tends to fall as quickly as it rises. He’s so incredible, there is one episode in the second season where he imitates Tracy Jordan’s entire family in a psycho therapy session. He did Red Fox, Aunt Jemima and Tracy’s white step-father switching between each of them in a conversation. To say the man is talented would be an understatement. He deserves his Emmy, an Oscar, a Golden Globe and a Tony for this show. He’s incredible.

Tracy Morgan is an SNL alum as well. He plays Tracy Jordan (what an imaginative name) a nutty ego maniac and star of the fake “show within a show”. He’s supposed to be a cross between Martin Lawrence, Chris Tucker, and every other ridiculous actor who’s run down a crowded street butt naked while they were drunk and high. He’s so crazy! 

The rest of the cast is so well put together! Ugh. I can’t explain them any better. Just watch it already!

Tina Fey created one of my favorite shows ever. It’s so well written it sometimes makes me scoff, my mouth just sits agape at the genius of some of the jokes. 

I know this review is all over the place but a show like this is just so hard to nail down and put into words. The critics have given it rave reviews. It has won 9 Emmys and 2 Golden Globes. What more do you need to hear about this show to start tuning in? I’d suggest that you get Seasons 1 and 2 on DVD or watch them online at a site like hulu.com so that you can get current. Once you’re in you’ll be craving this show with just as much anticipation as an episode of Grey’s Anatomy or The Office (US).

30 Rock is incredible and will go down in history as one of the greatest shows of all time.

I had no idea how out of shape I was until one day I was eating a bag of Cheetos and got winded, orange fingers and all. I was wheezing and my heart was beating like I just beat a group of hippies to death with a tie-dyed sock full of nickels. When you are so fat you get out of breath just trying to eat your fat ass to death its time for a CHANGE.

Throughout my life I’ve been everything from bulimic skinny as a kid to morbidly obese in my late high school years. Weight has been a real struggle but its not one that I will blame on anyone but my own fat ass self. There are very few instances where a person is overweight for a medical reason which is beyond their control. Meaning that if they didn’t eat so much and actually went outside and did some exercise over the course of a few months or years they would inevitably lose weight.

Obesity is just a byproduct that present-day industrialized societies have to live with and interestingly enough a staple of an industrialized society is one in which even the poor people are fat. In the future this will all be cured from birth but right now our bodies store the extra nutrients we stuff in our pie holes as fat. Stop eating when you aren’t hungry (easier said than done, I know, FOOD GOOD) and that fat store will diminish, exercise and it will diminish even quicker.

I honestly see nothing wrong with being fat, I really don’t. I’ve been overweight for almost half my life. I like setting unrealistic goals for myself, ones when left unfulfilled lead to me polishing off an entire cherry pie and half gallon of Blue Bell ice cream in one sitting while I watch re-runs of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” in a day long session of self loathing.

Since the goals which I usually fail to complete are ones I jump head long into, I decided about 1.5 months ago to try a bit of moderation and learn to run the proper way. My logic being, if I became good at running I could lose the pounds I put on during my spells of over consumption by simply getting on the track.

Rather than trying to hit the ground “running” and busting out a mile on my first session, which would certainly hurt and put me off to the whole goal for good (which would lead to more pie), I started out small and walked the course for 2 weeks. Setting little benchmarks for myself (which I’ll share in a future article). I can now run the entire 3-mile course which is in a very hilly area of LA called Silverlake. In under 2 months I’ve gone from not having the strength to finish off a bag of Cheetos to running 3-miles a day.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be a Calvin Klein underwear model (an opinion that is based less on my appearance and more on the fact that I’m not a homosexual) but I do feel I can bring positive change to the ways I enjoy life. Being really fat and self-conscious can take the fun out of most things. So its time for a CHANGE! You get it? Like Obama…oh nevermind.

(I’ll let everyone continue to think that I wear a yellow helmet and Mardi-Gras beads while I stuff my face.)

Some People Have Real Problems by Sia

I’m blown away! Who the hell is this person? Why does she talk like Crocodile Dundee and sing like an angel? Why can’t answer any of the questions in my own review?

All I can say is she’s from Australia and she’s incredible and awesome and great and astounding and I could continue this run-on sentence all day.

There is a song on this album which, in itself, completely changed my perspective on music. “Soon We’ll Be Found” is one of the most beautiful things I’ve EVER heard. I can’t explain it, I can’t back up my opinion, I’m not a musician. My brain just said:

“Aaron this is genius, it’s beautiful, it’s poetic, it’s human. You only get to hear it for the first time once. Take this opportunity to learn a lesson from it.”

- My Brain

The main lesson learned was never judge an album by its cover. You see an Australian woman staring off into the middle distance with marker all over her face, a plastic ring and the title “Some People Have Real Problems” written in MS Paint. Once you think about it its so damn clever! Ugh. I don’t have much else to say but buy this album. Listen to it on iTunes and Youtube to make up your own opinion. She’s Great!

Do yourself a favor and watch this video it will brighten your day!

The Public School system is a dying brand folks. Watch this video and see the future.

Green Dot

Franz Ferdinand by Franz Ferdinand

Named after the Archduke of Austria who’s assassination sparked World War I, Franz Ferdinand popped on the scene rather unexpectedly. They’ve got a funky Alternative Rock sound which emulates a lot of the bands from the 60’s, 70’s and 80’s. The drums pop, the bass bumps, and the guitar licks are incredibly catchy. I could listen to them all day.

Sure some of their songs are about gay dudes dancing so sexy in the club, but if I let that get to me I’d have to take the whole of 80’s New Wave music and throw it in the garbage. Franz Ferdinand is an incredible debut. (Yes I’ll probably say that every time.)

The Washington Post has learned that the Pentagon plans to deploy 20,000 US troops domestically to help state and local officials respond to a “nuclear terrorist attack or other domestic catastrophe”.

Are you kidding me? This is patently absurd. You are 1048 times more likely to die in a car accident than a terrorist attack and yet they still try to feed us this line.

Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.

Benjamin Franklin

The picture above is of the Boston Massacre in which domestic troops attacked, with musket fire, a group of unarmed civilians. It was the first violent step toward the American Revolution.

It might seem a little sensational but I think we can all agree that the Patriot Act + Domestic Troops = A bad situation.

Read all about it.